Christine
by Lagtim3
Summary: Little peeks into the growing internal world of an Oregonian-turned-San-Franciscan. (Formerly the one-shot 'Breathless'. Honestly not sure where I'm going with this after the first few chapters, kind dipping my toes back into the waters of writing after not having really written for a few years, y'know?)


First, it was a dark nothingness.

And then, it was a dim somethingness.

The world consisted of a single, black, infinite room, housing a very big button on a pedestal. It was ever-so-faintly lit by a fuzzy circle of light hovering above. A pulse of muffled noise would echo in now and then, unheard.

The pedestal hummed warmly in the dark, waiting.

Things remained that way for a while; a void thrumming with potential, the world holding its breath, waiting to see who would come first. Finally, eventually, the sounds became more frequent, more distinct. The darkness of the room receded to the brightening screen. There were beeps and yells and clinks and clanks and the shuffling of feet. The button gleamed white and the screen awoke from its drowsy haze, ready and eager.

It was time.

A single, glimmering particle appeared first, then another, and another, each floating unsurely as more winked into being. Soon enough, a nebulous cloud of them had formed, drifting in the dusky air among mingled shouts of pain and excitement.

For just a second, they froze, as if hesitating... deciding.

And then, like a reverse firework, the particles converged with a BANG, and Fear was unceremoniously chucked into existence. There was a shriek and a _thud_ -he'd hit the floor face-first, and inertia sent him skidding on his front, his legs scorpioned upwards over his back. They fell flat after a moment. Fear groaned.

More shouts, morphing into yelps of urgency and cries of confusion.

It became very bright and very loud, very fast.

Huge grey eyes snapped open behind cracked lens, and Fear took in an explosive gasp, like he was trying to inhale the pedestal on the other side of the room. He released it in a sob of terror that echoed through the black. Every speck of what he was buzzed with it. The emotion started taking in gulps of air, looking for all the empty world like a fish out of water, desperate breaths that did nothing as they became gasps and retching coughs.

He needed to breathe but even as he did he couldn't–

 _floor dark pain chest **burning** what is this loud dark bad bad bad_

It took a few moments for Fear to figure out that his limbs existed and that he could use them; the second it registered, he was up like a shot in a burst of frantic energy. Feet planted firmly, he froze just as fast, petrified, gawking at the blurry scene of frenzied, colorful blobs before him–

 _bright chest pain **help** so bright burning bad **bad** chest head hurts_

 _loud burning burning **do something** move look_

Acting on instinct alone, dazed and hyperventilating, his focus shifted from the screen to the only other thing in the room. Every particle of his being screamed at him–

 _do something go there **hit that** do something do something move **move MOVE**_

The emotion, raw and new, took his first steps stumbling and shaking, towards the button, reaching out with one hand while the other clutched uselessly at his neck, but his vision was fading almost as fast as it had been granted to him. Something closed tightly inside his narrow chest, and he hissed in pain, halting. The burning blossomed into his skull and down his limbs, then morphed into a terrifying numbness.

The yelps and cries turned to distant shouting and close screaming.

Fear tried to scream, too. He wheezed. Panic rolled itself into a ball and plummeted into his stomach like a fist. He tasted a sour something. Everything was bright and loud and his head pounded, his chest was on fire, he couldn't feel his hands and feet and the little voice in his mind was screaming for him to hit the button, _hit the button_ and it would make everything okay, but his legs were made of lead, his thoughts skipped and stumbled over one another, he tried to think and tried to keep moving but everything felt like dusk and molasses.

One wavering step, another, but it was too much. Fear dropped to his knees, dizzy, confused, and terrified. His hands hit the floor. Something clattered to the ground. The rest of him followed.

 _loud burning dark_

 _do something **move** have to can't_

 _where dark numb **dark** no, no, **DO SOMETHING**_

 _do something_

 _i'm sorry_

He'd only existed for a minute at best, yet Fear recognized the crushing weight of failure as sounds faded to silence and the dark closed in.

 _d o_

 _s o m e_

 _t_

 _h_

 _i_

 _n_

 _g_

 _._

 _._

 _._

* * *

Fear groggily came to consciousness, guided by the sounds of soft hiccuping noises and leftover sobs of relief. Light pierced through his eyelids and drilled into his head, and he inhaled sharply through clenched buck teeth. A pair of lavender hands covered his closed eyes quickly. Fear let out a miserable hiccup as short but vivid memories flickered–

 ** _do something_**

He bolted to his feet with a yelp, ignoring the pain that flared in his skull, frantically looking around for the console–

 _is that it's name yes what is this place where am i? what who fear yes that's me, me?_

 _fear, i am fear,_ _but where's the console i need to what, need to? do something, look, move_

–and grey eyes settled on a short pillar of light. Fear squinted, and it flared. It... hadn't looked like that before, had it? Fear's heart, more of a concept than a real, physical thing, fluttered beneath the thin wall of particles separating it from the outside world as the wisteria-colored emotion took short, shallow…

…Breaths. He could breathe.

The relief almost made him collapse again. The screaming in Fear's brain died down to disjointed pulses of instinct and anxious scraps of thought, and he tried to piece them together into something resembling logic. The pillar of light was calling to him, that much he could tell; not a sound, nor anything that could be seen, but a tugging at something in him. A conclusion formed itself for him; he should hit the button or the– _bad dark burning loud_ –might come back.

 _oh no n o nonono **move** go go go_

Fear gave walking another shot, arms held stiffly out as he stumbled towards the console. This had been much easier when he hadn't actually been thinking about it. One step, two, a third, then–crunch. Fear gasped sharply and froze, axon springing into a knot. After a moment of nothing happening, he realized the sound had come from under his shoe. He relaxed just a hair. Fear pulled his foot back and squinted down at the ground.

Two blurry little circles sat on the floor where he'd stepped. The emotion kneeled to pick them up, one in each hand, but as it turned out they were attached in the middle. A thought niggled at the back of his brain, and he set the weird little circles across the bridge of his nose.

Half his vision came into sharp focus. The other half was bad as before. He could make out the console much better now, only a dozen steps away. It still looked different though, he noticed. A dent near the base that hadn't been there before. He tilted his head as he wondered.

Then Fear felt something prick his cheek and he slapped the glasses off his face with a yelp. They went clattering into the dark, and Fear wasn't about to scrounge around on the floor trying to find them. He could make do, he decided uncertainly, and he'd already wasted enough time. The sounds from the screen had calmed down, but that didn't mean it wouldn't all explode at any moment again.

As Fear shuffled closer and closer, hands worrying one another like fighting spiders, the console and viewscreen–

 _that's it yes that's them that's their names_

–became sharper, but still fuzzy around the edges. The screen showed little else but a swath of pink. A delicate rustling sound emanated from it, and Fear felt the faintest sensation of something soft surrounding him; his own limbs were free, yet he also felt them curled up against himself, swaddled close to his body. Fear's back stung, and the tips of his fingers ached for some reason, in the same phantom way that he felt his arms and legs in two states at once, but the little pains were nothing compared the the earlier burning, and they were fading fast.

The view on the screen shifted, blobs of pink and white and minty green. He hadn't noticed the gentle rocking until it stopped for a moment. It picked up again, and something started to hum, a slow and gentle tune, and Fear felt…

 _safe_

His hands rested against the edge of the console as he stared, just a breath away from the lone button resting on it. His shallow breathing deepened and slowed. Fear felt the ghost of light pressure as his side was pressed against something, and a steady _ba-bump, ba-bump,_ flooded into the world from the left. The humming stopped.

"Christine, my little Christine…"

What? Fear's axon perked at the soft, slightly scratchy voice, another something new, sounds that he was able to understand in a different way than instinctive reaction. They sent an almost immediate calm through him.

The feeling was foreign, and he never wanted it to go away.

A thought occurred. "Kuh… C-Chrisss… tine," Fear tried, surprising himself. His voice was scratchy, too, and it hurt to talk. Realization rolled over him like the tide–

 _christine christine that's her name, that's her, i'm part of this and part of her_

 _keep her safe_

"Christine," Fear said again, louder, feeling something other than himself that he just didn't have a name for, a feeling like a bright glowing in his chest. He tried the word again; it stung in the back of his throat after all that hacking and coughing, but the word felt… right. Comforting. His. He croaked her name–

 _our name?_

–a few more times, and his first smile crossed his face.

And then Christine let out a hiccup, and Fear's hands slammed down on the console _hard_ before he could even register that he moved. A painful _crack_ echoed through the room when they hit, and, for a split second of sheer dread, the spindly emotion was _certain_ he'd broken the console and doomed them both, but Christine shrieked, loud and healthy. Fear pressed the button down with all his meager body weight and didn't let up–

 _no more dark no more burning bad bad press the button help help help_

There was more of the soft voice, comforting coos, a deeper voice, a changing of hands, rocking, little bounces, and a lot of blurry movement on the view above. It eventually calmed Fear down again, and Christine was left burbling anxiously as he reluctantly drew his hands back, ready to press the button again at the slightest provocation.

Nothing happened for a few minutes. Just soft voices and cooing and a steady beeping. The nice ba-bump sound came back.

Fear wrung his hands and yawned, suddenly very, very tired. He watched through half-lidded eyes as the viewscreen slowly dimmed to a dusky glow before him; his hand hovered over the button for a moment–

 _no no this feels right this is good this is good_

 _sleep now_

Fear yawned again. Fine, then. Laying his head on skinny arms, he propped himself up against the console even as he lost consciousness, ever-vigilant.

 _where did those tubes come from_

 _what's that shiny ball_

–were his final thoughts as he drifted off.

Christine slept soundly, and so did Fear.

The world buzzed with potential.

* * *

 **A/N:** _I can't believe it's been over... geez, two years? Since I posted anything I've written, anywhere. I made this FF account a while ago, too, so consider this me wiping the dust offa it for future use! I'm gonna make an effort to post something at least once a month, hopefully once every two weeks. I'm way too critical of my own stuff and I'm so worried about reception I just never finish any stories and never post. Kinda need to get over that, y'know? Granted, I spent only an hour or two on this in a flash of caffeine-fueled 3-in-the-morning inspiration, and gave it only a cursory read-over, but hey, it's a start!_

 _Probably gonna leave this as a one-shot for now, though we'll likely visit Christine again in the future. She's more-or-less based off my own cherry-picked experiences. I actually learned earlier today I came out blue for the first few minutes of my life, so yeah, three guesses where I got the inspiration to write this._

 _Guess I've rambled enough. Thanks again for reading, and I'd super-duper appreciate any and all reviews, favs, and constructive criticism!_

 **A/N pt. 2:** _Aaaaand now I've beta-read and edited the crapola out of it. Much better! Also changed the story title, and I've decided the first few chapters are gonna be the creation and introduction of each of Christene's emotions._


End file.
